Network of Home-Based Communities: A Proposal
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Report on the Questionnaire on Self-Improvement - 1/17/08

Fifty-one people have responded to the questionnaire. Of these, 40 provided answers. All authorized responses are posted at http://progressiveresourcecatalog.org/index.php/Network/Responses1

You are invited to review these responses. By doing so, you may find some approaches that you might want to explore yourself. Regardless, it's interesting to get an overview of what others are doing and thinking.

Following are some of my observations and comments.

Concerning Question #1, "In what ways, if any, do you want to become a better human being?", three people raised questions about the use of the word "better." The first said, "Indeed, but I would rather call it a 'fuller' human being rather than a better one. I want to stay away from judgments -- to myself, to others, so fuller sounds better." The second said, "What I think is a better human is not necessarily what the next person thinks of as being better." The third said, "I do not categorize that as better so much as healthier." I suspect that others who object to my language did not respond, for postmodern moral relativism is still widespread.

But one can be moral, without being moralistic. One can make judgments without being judgmental. Certain universal values, including human rights, are grounded in human nature. However difficult it may be to articulate a consensus on these points, we must do our best. Affirming a progressive, moral stance is essential. Forsaking morality to the Moral Majority was a major mistake that emerged from the excessively individualistic aspects of the 60s counter-culture.

So the general acceptance of my language by the respondents to the questionnaire and the growing interest in a progressive morality generally encourages me. It seems that many progressives are becoming more willing to embrace a moral framework.

Some respondents aren't interested in discussing self-improvement within a group context, perhaps because they do so only with a domestic partner. Some people intermittently discuss these issues informally with groups whose membership changes from time to time. I can completely understand these approaches. "Different strokes for different folks."

I still believe, however, that a small, ongoing affinity group with close friends who share meaningful experiences can foster a valuable, deeper sense of community. I suspect that many people whose only real source of intimacy is with a domestic partner would like to share some meaningful degree of intimacy with a small, home-based community.

Other respondents expressed no interest in self-improvement. One vehement critic said, "I find this project to be misguided. I think we need to be concentrating on providing social resources that would be helpful to people in their search for self-fulfillment.... Progressives abandon individuals to their own devices."

I'm sure this individual is not alone. An exclusive focus on changing social conditions is not rare. Some choose to specialize in this way, which is fine. They can make a valuable contribution in this way. But I don't believe they should discredit those of us who pursue a holistic path.

Another respondent said, "I feel great as is without self-improvement as of today," and another said, "trying to be a better person, which I have done my share of, is not what I am thinking about." I can understand that other priorities become more compelling from time to time. As for myself, however, I suspect I'll be working on becoming a better person virtually every day of my life until I die.

And it seems to me that most of those who aren't engaged in self-improvement now, such as those two respondents, would voice support for those of us who are interested in developing holistic communities that explicitly, intentionally foster self-improvement

In The Lifelong Activist, Hillary Rettig wrote:

I agree, which is one reason I wanted to circulate a questionnaire on self-improvement. It seems that at least some of us who want to grow activist organizations that consciously nurture self-actualization need to connect with one another.

Thirty-eight of the respondents reported self-improvement goals. I found these responses instructive and will add some of them to the Progressive Resource Catalog.

As has been the case when I've interviewed my taxi passengers on this point, it seems to me that the most common theme is a desire to be less judgmental. The responses to the first question included:

• really listen to each other
• [be] more patient
• more patience...less judgmental
• extending my empathy
• develop compassion
• become less judgmental
• be more careful what I say
• love more fully
• letting things go...like anger.
• listening first
• less judgmental
• understand others views better
• more accepting, more understanding
• try not to be judgmental
• be patient and understand others

Another theme that stands out to be is the desire to take better care of oneself. Responses included:

• maintain my mental and financial health
• maximize my physical and mental well-being
• more healthful physical activity
• happier and more physically fit
• finding a balance between social justice work and rest and enjoyment

In response to the second question, "What methods, if any, are you using to become a better human being?," 38 people reported on their methods. Grouping the responses as best I can, with the number of people who reported each method in parentheses when more than one reported that method, they include:

• Think/Ask oneself key questions/self-reflection (13)
• Meditation/prayer (8)
• Read (8)
• Help friends, neighbors, family, others in need (6)
• Political activism (5)
• More quality face-time (5)
• Get/stay fit (4)
• Follow through on promises/ Remain accountable (3)
• Work with mentors (2)
• Talk (2)
• Be creative with art (2)
• Practice gratitude (2)
• More rest/pleasure (2)
• Go to college
• Get out of town for a new perspective
• Avoid getting over-extended
• Write down daily goals
• Positive thinking
• Think before sending emails
• Men's group
• Film group
• Open-ended women's spirituality group
• Non-violent Communication
• Aikido
• Yoga
• Drive my bicycle
• Grow, cook & share food
• Purify Intention
• Reduce envy
• Be a good example
• Try not to make the same mistake twice
• Ask for feedback from peers
• Take on challenges
• Draw on intuition and nature
• Become more detached

The most common response was "Think/Ask oneself key questions/self-reflection." This pattern coincides with my recent reading of The 7 Powers of Questions: Secrets to Successful Communication in Life and Work by Dorothy Leeds, a fine book that analyzes the nature of and reasons for "poor thinking habits." Those responses and that book lead me to suspect that a fruitful task would be to compose a list of questions that progressive-minded people with an interest in holistic growth might ask themselves.

The respondents' interest in meditation and reading suggests sharing easy-to-learn meditation techniques and reading lists. And the interest in more quality face-time suggests developing and sharing simple structures to enhance face-time.

Some of the methods mentioned by only one person that intrigue me are: 1) Write down daily goals, 2) Try not to make the same mistake twice, 3) Take on challenges, and 4) Become more detached.

In response to "If you are meeting with a small group of close friends at least once a month to discuss these self-improvement issues, please describe the group," 21 respondents described no such group and five described informal associations. Thirteen reported participating in such a group, including:

• An ongoing men's group
• A woman's spirituality group - 6 women - we do everything from discussing religious issues to talking about our families to laughing and eating.
• http://kenwilber.meetup.com/2/
• I've pursued this mostly online, through my weblogs.
• Living in an ashram with 26 like-minded people.
• A monthly gathering of activists where we reflect, exchange ideas, and act.
• Living in a Theravadan Buddhist monastery
• 12-step group
• Community forum
• Film group followed by open-ended mutual support

Thirteen said they would be interested in meeting with a small group of close friends at least once a month to discuss self-improvement issues. Comments from these people included:

• YES DEFINITELY!
• I think it is a lovely idea to have an affinity group for self-improvement and I will suggest it to a small group of friends.
• I would be interested in meeting with others in a less political situation to share ideas.
• Very much so!
• Yes!
• I miss this kind of support group very much.
• Always
• Yes, but not with strangers or people I was assigned to.... The things I feel like I am looking for help with don't seem to be commonly held skills
• I would certainly try it!

Another six said maybe. Their comments included:

• I'd be resistant to taking this on as an obligation
• Before I committed to spending time in a group activity I would want to insure the time spent would be valuable.
• I might if the time permits.
• But not if the goal is too vague or if I have to agree to someone else's idea of what a better human is.

Ten said that they aren't interested in such a group. Their comments included:

• I'm involved in political action probably 40+ hours a week. Something new would probably put me in overload.
• I think that I know what I need to work on in regards to myself. What I do not know about myself, I think that I will run up against as my physical, social, and mental environment responds to me.
• I think I need to do this on my own not in a group format
• Personally, I do not operate well in groups.
• I do not feel the need for more at this moment.

Overall, this response encourages me to proceed with this project on a trial basis. I recognize that this approach is not for everyone. In fact, this project may be impractical because the numbers of people who would be interested might be too small. I sent out about 800 questionnaires, most of them individually addressed, and received the 51 responses described above. I don't whether I should be heartened or disheartened by this response. I'm not sure whether there are enough people who might be interested in home-based communities of people who engage in self-improvement, social service, and political action - and consciously support one another in these efforts.

But the enthusiasm expressed by some of the respondents motivates me to pursue it further. My intuition is that if and when a few home-based communities were actually operating, they could encourage others to form. Participants would report on their experience, both online and face-to-face, and these reports could motivate others. Interested people could visit a home-based community and observe how they operate. And occasional events open to the public could bring together members of more than one home-based community.

As a next step, I hope to work with others to draft a short, user-friendly manual that an organizing committee could use to encourage the formation of small, progressive, holistic, home-based communities composed of close friends who:

• are guided by the same principles;
• work on self-improvement;
• engage in community service (at least two hours a month);
• engage in political action (at least two hours a month), and;
• gather at least once a month in one of their homes to enjoy each other's company and support one another.

I also lean toward proposing that, at least whenever feasible, all members of each home-based community live in the same Congressional District (in the U.S., or the same district of the most accessible federal legislator in other countries). This approach would enable all members nationwide to advance the same position at the same time. Moreover, focusing on Congresspersons would enhance the prospects for success.

Though my general direction is firm, I remain open to changes and additions to these ideas. And certainly much remains to be determined in terms of specific methods. I look forward to being in touch with interested parties as I continue to pursue these possibilities.

I very much appreciate all of the responses to the Questionnaire on Self-Improvement, the other questionnaires that I've circulated, and various reports. Perhaps something concrete will soon emerge from these deliberations.